7 Ways To Be More Intentional In The New Year
As we enter into a new year, or season of life, there’s often this desire for a fresh start and a clean slate. Understandably so, however, there seems to be this looming feeling of uncertainty and perhaps even apathy as we find ourselves still in the middle of this unprecedented time in history. This mixture of emotions and the tug of being pulled in different directions can sometimes be overwhelming as we try to sit in this uncomfortable space. While I know this feeling rather well, especially over these last couple years, I do also know that it doesn’t have to stay that way.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned over these past few years, and especially throughout my time as a mother, is that we do have a choice. While there are many things in life that are beyond our control, (and I believe that notion is even something to be embraced at times,) each of us individually does have control over two things: our attitude, and our effort.
I am not going to tell you that these things are easy to adjust just like that and all will be peachy keen, but what I can provide for you are examples in my own life of this type of perspective shift and how even the smallest amount of effort, compounded over time can create a type of forward momentum that can lead to big changes and results.
Although we are one month in to the new year, one thing that is often still talked about around this time is the idea of resolutions. I don’t think I need to list out the statistics and staggeringly low success rate of these resolutions for you to be familiar with and understand the problem with them. While I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with the idea or setting of them, for me personally, I have shifted my mindset in the direction of becoming more intentional. I realize this can seem easier said than done. However I’m sharing some of the ways I’ve been implementing these into my own life, in hopes that maybe they can be helpful for you as well:
Develop healthy habits - I believe that habits are foundational in directing the course of your life. When I say the word ‘healthy’, I don’t just mean for your physical health specifically, but holistically in a way that can set the tone for creating a better quality of life in general. One of the best books I’ve read on the subject is called “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. This book does an incredible job of breaking down the science of habits and the actual impact they have on our daily lives. I found it fascinating to learn about how the brain works in this respect and I cannot recommend this book enough. While I could probably write an entire blog post on the subject, I will just mention a few key concepts: start small. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to start running 5 miles everyday if you haven’t worked out in months. Start with setting your running shoes next to the front door, and that’s it for the day. You’ll be amazed at how things like ‘habit stacking’, environment > motivation, and accountability can be game changers. The tagline of his book reads; “Tiny changes, remarkable results”. Trust the process.
Set realistic goals - I’m often guilty of setting unrealistic goals for myself, and then quickly become discouraged when they don’t pan out in the way that I want them to. While I am getting better about recognizing this in myself, I think it’s important to understand why this happens. It’s easy to set big, lofty goals that follow a strict timeline and have a very specific end result. The problem lies in the fact that life is going to happen along the way, that might interfere in the pursuit of those goals. This does not indicate that we should stop trying, but what we need to do is be prepared for this. I am all for goal setting and I think it’s an important part of living intentionally. I just think that we need to take a more realistic approach in how we view the journey that it’s going to take to get there. There will be bumps along the way. It may start pouring on the day of your ‘long run’. But if we can anticipate that it’s not going to happen exactly how we plan for it to, then I think we can be more accepting of the times when unexpected events present themselves. Build in a buffer of time or resources that can help you out when you find yourself in these times. I also believe one of the key components to achieving goals comes in the visualization of how you are going to attain them from start to finish. It’s common to have a goal in mind, and then the end result, with nothing in between. We are unsure of the steps needed to cross that finish line. Mel Robbins explains this concept beautifully in her latest book, “The High 5 Habit”. I strongly encourage you to check it out if you’re interested in learning more about goal setting.
Find your “why” - If we are not clear on the ‘why’ behind our actions or goals, they become much less likely to succeed. One of the first examples that comes to mind is the story I heard once of a man who set a resolution to lose 50 pounds by the summer. When what he was trying was not working for him, he started to get discouraged and was ready to quit altogether. When a friend noticed his attitude changing, he asked him about it. It took a while to get to the bottom of things, but when his friend finally found out, that was the key in implementing the change for this man. His ‘why’ was; he wanted to feel comfortable dancing at his daughter’s wedding that summer. So once this ‘why’ was established and out in the open, it was easier to pursue the right way to go about losing the weight. The friend was able to connect him to a personal trainer who worked with him in his goal, and his whole life changed as a result.
There are countless other examples like this one, but it’s important to keep in mind the takeaway here. Resolutions often fail because they are not specific enough, and the ‘why’ needs to be the leading motivator behind any goal we set for ourselves if we want to have a better chance at success. Saying “I’m going to eat healthier this year” does little to make any real change. However, saying “I’m going to eat healthier this year because I want to have the energy to chase after my kiddos and to go on that backpacking trip I’ve been planning for years” is more specific and will help you achieve goals more optimally in the long run.
Build in time to rest - In the fast-paced culture we live in, its easy to get sucked into this idea of going, going, going and never stopping. This widely-accepted belief that our worth is measured by our output or “busyness” is far from healthy. Our bodies were made to be active, and our bodies were made to rest. Period. It’s part of the equation, it’s not one or the other. Busyness seems to be a badge of honor to wear these days, but the problem is that it is not sustainable over time, and will quickly lead to burnout. Schedule the rest time if you need to, but it’s vitally important to build this into our day-to-day. In addition to physical rest, we also need mental rest as well. Our brains deserve a break, and we need to allow ourselves just to ‘be’, without the constant distractions. Though I am 100% guilty of this; mindlessly scrolling social media is not the most ideal way to rest. I recently decided to cut way back on the amount of time I spent on my phone, and more specifically on social media. It was one of the best decisions I’ve made for my mental health, and the implications go well beyond the immediate rewards such as having more time available to spend in other ways, and so forth. I highly recommend doing the same if you start to notice any negative effects you might be experiencing mentally.
Self-care - The fact that self-care is a controversial subject, saddens me. Especially as moms, it is such an important piece to the puzzle of navigating motherhood. I won’t get into all my thoughts on the subject right here, but what I will say is this: we don’t bat an eye at the thought of dads taking care of themselves, so why do we do this for moms? If we can’t take care of our basic needs, or even simple things that make us feel human again and restore our vitality, then that in turn is actually taking something away from our children. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Schedule something to look forward to - This concept is pretty straightforward, but I think it’s worth mentioning because it can often be something that falls on the back burner in this stage of life/motherhood. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but never take the time to plan it out, just do it! We get one chance at this thing called life, and we need to be intentional in using the time we have been gifted. I always appreciate having an event or get-together to look forward to. It provides motivation to get other stuff done as well as a sense of excitement and anticipation that can boost your mood amidst the chaos of everyday life.
Allow for mistakes, and celebrate the wins - As cheesy as it sounds, I like to think of the outcomes from the challenges I face in life as ‘I’m either winning or learning’. I don’t think you have to look at life as ‘win or lose’. To be honest, I don’t even really like the idea of using the word ‘win’. Because life shouldn’t be a competition, ever. Instead, it’s good to explore the lessons learned from difficulties we face, and the growth that comes about from going through experiences that we may have thought would break us at one point. When we come out on the other side of hard times, or when we achieve something we worked hard for, it’s necessary to acknowledge that effort and celebrate the ‘win’. We deserve to celebrate each accomplishment along the way, and it motivates us to keep going. When we are able to stop being self-critical, and can recognize the power that lies within each of us to do great things and make significant impact with our lives, that’s where life-change happens.
Being intentional with our time, energy and resources will allow us to function at our fullest capacity and create a ripple effect of momentum into the world around us. The key is to start small and build on even the tiniest of habits. Never underestimate the power that comes from making small changes for the better. I’m definitely a work-in-progress when it comes to this, but the results I’ve begun seeing from doing so have created an excitement inside of me that is hard to deny. I truly hope some of these ideas can do the same for you.
